Self Assessment

For our final blog assignment in my Business of Creative Writing course we have to evaluate ourselves as writers and our place in the writing world.

Personally I have yet to develop my style. This course has allowed me to discover my strengths and weaknesses, but I have a lot more work to do. I have been introduced to a lot of influential people and discovered a lot of genres that I did not even imagine existed. I do not know what my role is in the writing world, and I am not sure where I want it to take me. I do, however, know that I want my words to motivate people to do something with their lives, whether it be looking into themselves and facing their demons in order to find out who they really are, or getting up, arming themselves with their beliefs and taking on naysayers. I am working towards a smooth, simple style that sends a message about myself, my world, or my peers, but I guess that is what all writers want; someone to listen, someone to band with them and fight for something more than this.

Mr. Bob Gray

On Thursday, July 24, 2008, my Business of Creative Writing class was afforded the opportunity to conduct a phone interview with Fresh Eyes Now LLC founder, Shelf Awareness contributing editor, part-time bookseller at Northshire Bookstore in Manchester, VT, Bennington College’s MFA residency coordinator, and published writer, Mr. Bob Gray. Despite his outstanding credentials and rather intimidating portrait, Mr. Gray was genuine and down-to-earth.  He offered information and advice about the inner workings of the publishing world, and no question was too far-fetched for discussion. Mr. Gray helped me understand a lot of aspects regarding the writing, publishing, and selling processes. What I was most impressed with was his ability to explain concepts using analogies and references that were easy for us to understand. We covered so much information that there would not be enough room to write about all of it, so I am going to focus on the part of the interview that I was most interested in; the personal life of a writer.

Writing is not the romantic, live by the river, be one with nature lifestyle that it portrays. It is hard work, and in order to create a life out of it you have to be organized and driven. When Mr. Gray was describing the process that led him from a grocery store worker to his present status, I was moved by his determination to find the happy ground. He may not have started off great, but he followed his advice to just “keep moving until you get to where you want to go,” and is now at his comfortable medium. Mr. Gray’s daily schedule is regimented and, at the same time, flexible; he has time set aside for projects that get the bills paid as well as time for his personal writing, he sells in Northshire on the weekends and makes plans with family and friends during the week. His life seems to be the perfect balance of work and play, just the life that I hope to have one day. Being new to the writing world, the interview shook my sleepy eyes awake and showed me that if this is really what I want to do I need to stop being so lazy, and that is exactly what I am going to do. Thank you Mr. Gray, for giving me incite into the business as well as into myself.

Barnes & Noble and … Baine’s?

Enter any Barnes and Noble, or other chain bookstore, and you will find the same things: popular titles, flashy advertising, and Starbucks coffee. The fixtures are more permanent, and rather than the seller buying the books, the publishing companies pay the bookstore to sell their titles. Chains have few face-out copies, and the ones that are exposed are the popular titles of the week. The audience for our B&N in particular is the college student. There are reference books scattered throughout the store, and the spirit wear section is as large, if not larger, than the novel display areas. Until recently I have fed my literary cravings by going to chain bookstores like Barnes and Noble; I now realize how deprived I have been.

Upon entering Baine’s Books, an independent bookstore in Appomattox, I felt a sense of comfort that has been missing from my chain store experience. Everything from the local art on the walls to the creaks of the wooden floor boards screamed “Come in … and while you’re at it, stay forever!” The floor set up of Baine’s was different from other chain stores in content, but their ultimate goal was the same: sell baby, sell. Unlike chains, however, the marketing was much more subtle. Baine’s highlighted several different types of novelties including hand-crafted coffee mugs, new and used music, DVDs, and antique books. There was also a piano and a guitar shoved away for the evening’s entertainment. Aside from these extras, I was especially intrigued by the first display of books I encountered; a table full of pulp fiction, movies, how to design character costumes, and all of the “underground” (to me at least) literature that is almost never displayed in the front windows of chains. It really opened my eyes to the different genres and types of books in print.

The set-up of the novels was designed to draw visitors farther and farther into the store. First, the organization of the face-out titles was locally focused: Civil War books, Native American cultures, and Irish folklore to name a few. Once these books grabbed the eye, it led to the more marketed novels of Rachel Ray and Barack Obama. The classic and used book sections shortly followed. Sprinkled throughout the floor were movable dumps that housed children’s novels and Penguin Press classic prints. The store allowed you to interact with it. There were lists of top selling books and CDs, as well as a list of stolen products including a Johnny Cash album that the store owners were quite shocked about. I enjoyed the organized randomness that the store offered and was especially impressed by its promotion of other independent markets; I was able to view a local photographer’s art as I walked up the stairs to the art and music novels, and I could purchase locally roasted coffee beans and buy homemade truffles and cookies from the in-store bakery/coffee shop. While the convenience of walking down the street to the Barnes & Noble is exactly that, convenient, I would much rather drive the extra thirty miles to Baine’s.

The eBook Experience

One of my favorite parts of the reading ritual is the search; the hours I spend walking up and down aisles in bookstores and libraries browsing through hundreds of titles, searching for the perfect afternoon companion. The texture of the pages, the images of the cover art, the font style, the smell, every book has characteristics that meld together to convey its unique personality. Even the atmosphere of a book store creates a unique experience for the reader. If we replace these natural elements with advanced technology, the only things left are the blinding light of the computer monitor’s white back ground, and the cold, hard-plastic feel of the keys on the keyboard. There is something that happens when you have a novel in your hands that does not quite develop when you read a story on the screen; the connection to the work is lost in the mainframe.

I recently spent an abnormally long period of time searching for and reading an ebook on my computer. I was left unsatisfied. To begin, my Google search for “free ebooks” led me to websites that either, one, did not really have “free” ebooks, or, two, had titles that were so uninteresting I could continue reading after the first couple of lines. Once I finally settled on an ebook, it took me an additionnal twenty minutes to unlock the mystery behind opening the file. Come to find out, I had to download a program for an ebook reader in order to even open the ebook. I do not own a reader. So, I continued my search and, after what seemed like a lifetime, I found an ebook that did not require additional software downloads.

G.O.D. by Jay Lake consists of three abstract short fiction stories about God, his peers, and their adventures – one of the stories is about a Canasta night with the devil himself. It is a sort of criticism on different aspects of religion in our culture. I was intrigued by Lake’s ideas on religion, and all in all I thought it to be an interesting and entertaining read that I may have overlooked had I been in the book store. I would have enjoyed the work more if I was able to see the cover and feel the pages. While I was impressed with the variety of selections available through the internet, I am not ready to give up my days perusing the literature section of the book store, turning real pages with my fingertips, and absorbing the book through my senses.

Blaze

Here is my first attempt at Creative Non-Fiction, tell me what you think:

I grew up in Hampton Roads, Virginia following my mom from house to house on the weekends, and returning to my dad’s for the school week.  I fed the fish every day before and after school.  I rode my bike in circles around my yard, creating a trail of shrunken grass – remnants of my daily routine. My dog chased me. She was my best and only friend, Blaze was her name.  I wondered why we called her that, was it because she was fast? my dad told me he named her after an old Blazer truck we owned.  But that was when I was young.  I soon opened my big brown eyes and saw the world as it was.  Needless to say, we never had a Blazer truck.

Colors

Colors is the first and only poem I have ever written.  I wrote it my junior year of High School:

Orange is the color of the sun,
the sun that rises and sets on the horizon.
Red is the color of your love,
your love that rises and sets in my heart.

White is the color of the moon,
the moon that rises in the night.
Blue is the color of my thoughts,
my thoughts of you now that you’re gone.

Green is the color of the grass,
the grass that collects the morning dew.
Clear is the color of my tears,
my tears that shed because of you.

Crimson is the color of my wrists,
my wrists that used to be blue.

Pale is the color of my body,
my body without you.

Originally published in The Cupola vol. 19, 2003 (Granby High School).